gaysexinchurch: how dare u have a better body than me when i don’t work out at all
THAT ONE TIME STEVE IRWIN GOT BIT ON A SHOW AND...
oliveslife: tanglebox: mooneymannyinthesky: overland-frost: BUT THE LADY IS LIKE “… .y… -okay.” ALWAYS REMEMBER. even the puppet backed up crying because of the puppet tho
pelluit: hate it when you sit down and your legs flatten out to approximately the size of australia
darrynek: itshinyu: darrynek: why get a job when you can get hit by cars and sue the drivers And then you get injured and possibility die? I don’t think so. get rich or die tryin dont you know the fuckin motto
mntrose: The most horrific thing about getting close to someone is the thought that at any point, they could lose complete interest in you
dave-vriska: jacklullaby: jacklullaby: unfollower: men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day OH MY GOD LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS” I’M NOT...
zombikki: veganasfuck: how many “friend-zoned” guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they’ll just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw. this is the best joke ever
e-zekiel: okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time and then another person fell and another and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu...
radstunts: thirteenth-zodiac-sign: bllonde: Dear tampon and pad companies: Please make your items quieter to open. Sincerely, The whole restaurant/household/bathroom now knows I am on my period, thank you. I just thought my flat-mates were eating crisps in the toilet. that is the single most british sentence i have ever read